Cutting Through the Clutter

Hi, 

I can't believe another week has come and gone. Time is going by here so incredibly fast. It was a tumultuous week full of highs and lows. The nature of being solitary and in a foreign land is like that. Lots of swinging up and down. Back and forth. Admittedly, I have had a hard time stilling my mind since arriving here. The school work is piling up now and I'm trying to cut through the clutter in my head and focus on the tasks at hand but it's often got it's own agenda and busy with thoughts. About what I'm seeing. Experiencing. Tasting. Doing. Feeling. Now. BUT I'm also preoccupied with what's next for me. In the closing of this chapter (which is merely weeks away!), another will be written. I just don't know the plot just yet....and that feels scary. The space in between can be an overwhelming, confusing, debilitating time.....despite the feeling of freedom and being airborne.

Lots to say. First, I wrote this update for the foundation which gave me a scholarship to support my work here. It's quite comprehensive if you would like to read it:

http://www.ucalgary.ca/md/PARHAD/studentships/student-2010-bstrumm.htm

The highs. Yesterday I attended this conference: http://www.kidsrightsmdgsconference.com/ 
It was incredible. Not only was the content extremely relevant to my work and long-term career goals, but the speakers panel was remarkable. Graca Machel (Mandela's wife and long-standing social activist), F.W. de Klerk (former president of South Africa and Nobel peace prize winner), and Desmond Tutu (no explanation required) were all there and spoke to open and close the conference. Wow. I was starstruck as well as deeply effected by their words. I left feeling uplifted and hopeful despite the disappointing facts regarding children's health, education and poverty around the world. The conference and time spent in the presence of Tutu will forever be a beacon of light in my life as I progress as a social worker. I went up to Tutu at the end of the day and spoke with him for a moment before someone snapped this:

Wow. GrateFULLness.

The conference also recognized Children's Peace Prize awards given out every year- there were 3 winners in attendance. The 2009 winner struck a chord with me, a young Congolese boy named Baruani Ndume who fled from the violence in DR Congo when he was seven years old. Both of his parents were killed during the conflict. Baruani has lived in the refugee camp in Tanzania for over nine years but converted his difficult life there into something powerful, including starting a radio show for refugee children. The radio show, called 'Sisi kwa Sisi' (Children for Children), airs on Radio Kwizera in Tanzania, Congo, Rwanda, and Burundi. In his radio show, Baruani discusses the problems and challenges refugee children face in the camp and offers an ear and advice. Here I am with this magnificent boy:

 
The lows. An old and dear friend of mine's mother suddenly passed away this week from an unstoppable cancer. I'm in Pretoria and she's in Calgary. I'm torturing myself over not being there for her physically. I know that you can't plan these things, and that the universe has placed me here now, but I've been unable to calm down. I take pride in the fact that I'm the 'go to gal' and I enjoy giving support to others. I think I get this from my grandmother who was tirelessly helping other people. I'm a way better giver of support than receiver of it. This experience has exposed just how much I shape my identity by this trait and how in being far away from the people I love, it is stifled. This is one of the many things I am learning about myself here. The learning never ends.


I think I'll close there. Too much clutter.


Love from me,
B

 

Behind the Scenes

I thought it might be fun to share with you all what happens at a live World Cup match. There is quite a lot you don't see on TV. I took note the other night when I was at Japan vs. Paraguay. It was not a very high-scoring game, (0-0), but the penalty kicks were something else!! What a devastating way to lose for Japan. :( That was my second and final WC game. Now I sit at home and watch the elimination round with the rest of the world.There are also no more games in Pretoria. Phew!

• Right before the game starts, Could You Be Loved by Bob Marley is played on the speakers. Awesome.
• Warm-up happens about 40 min prior to game time. Each team is welcomed and their name announced separately as they run onto the field.
• At half-time, cheerleaders come onto the field. Yes, there are cheerleaders in World Cup soccer.
• The cheerleaders perform a routine to Waka Waka by Shakira. The entire crowd gets up and dances!
• Right before the players march out onto the field from the tunnel, photographers are allowed to run up beside the tunnel in a clump. It's hilarious to watch them all battle for position within this roped off area.
• The only beer served is Budweiser. Terrible!
• An entire side of the stands is taken up by the press and media. They sit at white tables.
• The vuvuzelas are actually louder than you think.
• The players who sit on the bench go on the field at half-time and run around and stretch in case they play in the second half.
• The wave is usually conducted!
• Finally, people are VERY creative with regards to their costuming and there are face painters on site ready to give everyone a flag of their choice on cheeks!

Here is a video of the noise I took from my camera at Ellis Park Stadium during the USA vs.Slovenia match:

GHANA all the way now!

Brianna

Victoria Falls and Brianna Falls

 Hello!

This past weekend I explored Victoria Falls with a new friend, Romy. What a wonderful place. However, this was an expensive expedition as I was charged $50 USD both to go in and to go out of Zambia. I would have saved myself 50% by presenting a World Cup ticket – who knew immigration departments had sales?? Zimbabwe then charged me $75 for a Visitor Visa. My South African counterpart was charged nothing. What did Canada ever do? Regardless, it was worth the cost. Victoria Falls are magnificent. They are more rugged and raw than Niagara. They remind you who is boss: Mother Nature. As a visitor, you can get very close…almost dangerously so but this is Africa. The Falls run along a deep canyon for many kms. I loved the noise (roar) of the Falls and the mist that came up from the trenches below. Bright rainbows shone in the water.  In many sections, it was impossible to even see the Falls as the spray was so intense. I wore a rain coat, and even then, got soaked.

We went to the Falls twice, in the daytime and again at night to witness the ‘lunar rainbow’. This is the only place in the world where you can see this due to the brightness of the full moon. (You used to be able to see this phenomenon at Niagara Falls but not anymore due to commercial development in the area.) What an amazing sight this was! Spiritual. We were guided through the park by a Ranger with a dull lantern and at one point he says, “Turn around”. Voila! A rainbow in the mist! It was so dark you couldn’t even see the Falls (however, you could sure feel them as water battered our clothes). The universe felt HUGE in that time and space.

Going into the weekend, I also wanted to experience the ‘adventure’ offered at Victoria Falls. The Bridge over the Falls is known for its bungee jump.  I have been talking about doing the bungee for a few months. Yet, when I got there, I wasn’t excited, rather, I felt sick to my stomach just looking at the ropes. I was quickly reminded how much I dislike the feeling of going upside down (even as a child on the playground) and thought, “I don’t know that I want to do this anymore”! It felt very stressful and as I stood on the ledge, looking down, bungee cord wrapped around my feet, a war was raging inside of me:

EGO: “Bungee you silly moron. You can do this. Everyone else does it. You are lame. It’s only a few seconds of your life. See? Others come back alive and smiling.”

SOUL: “You don’t need to bungee. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. You are centered and pure. You don’t have to go through this agony to show that you are brave.”

EGO: “What will everyone think if you don’t do it? Oh, man, you are so stupid. Just do it.”

SOUL: “Breathe. If it does not feel right, there will be other opportunities when you can come back to this spot. You are already strong. You face your fears daily.”   

I stepped back and never felt braver.              

SOUL  1                 EGO  0

Since this defining moment, I have been looking for an explanation or further understanding as to what I was experienced there, on the bridge. This passage comes close:  

“The ego wants us to do things to be accepted. It will never happen. The ego is coming from the premise that we are essentially incomplete. Actions that stem from the acceptance of my Being are totally different from actions that arise from the doing of my ego, even though the actions may look identical. One is done in the full Consciousness of Soul and Love of Self. The other is done from a sense of incompleteness, inferiority, and fear of not being enough. It is our choice. It merely takes a shift in perception from ego to Soul-Centered Awareness."

Now, don't be fooled. I still jumped. But on MY terms and with a shift in my perception of jumping. I did what was called the Gorge Swing. I fell in a swinging motion, rather than just straight down. In fact, the speed of the fall is faster than bungeeing because of the momentum. I LOVED IT! I was in control, and able to embrace the fall, without fear, and felt fully in my heart as I stepped off the edge. Who knew you could feel so GROUNDED flying through the air?

I am fortunate to have had this 'soul vs. ego' debate arrive, unexpectedly, and as a result, am more in touch with  myself than ever before. 

Finally, I must also comment on how beautiful Zimbabweans are, on the inside and out. We were greeted with such warmth, generosity and kindness. Thank you.

Until next time, 

Brianna

PS-I can't help but laugh at my own ability to take this "In Between Bars" theme to a whole new level now. I literally did hurl myself through the air!

5 slogans

Excellent timing (as always) that this video by Pema Chodron (love her) came across my path today.

I needed this teaching as I lean back, look up and throw my arms around what I've experienced and learned in the past 7 weeks. I'm halfway through.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIeetlSjwvg

The five slogans of Machig Labdron teach us how to work with fear, aversion, and suffering in the context of the great motivation to benefit others:

1. Confess your hidden faults.
2. Approach what you find repulsive.
3. Help those you think you cannot help. Or, help those you do not want to help.
4. Anything you are attached to, give that.
5. Go to the places that scare you.
 
Brianna
 

South Africa...

South Africa...a country where running a red light is safer than stopping at it (at night).

South Africa...a country where there are two different types of electrical plugs. You never know which one you're going to get.

South Africa...a country where driving through thick smoke on the highway is common as grass fires burn rampant.

South Africa...a country where every, single radio station is heard nationally.

South Africa...a country where there are more metal bars per sq. km. than plants or trees.

South Africa...a country where men in neon vests direct traffic for parking spots, even on the street. They are not formally employed by anyone.

South Africa...a country where taxis look like buses.

South Africa...a country where in 20 degrees, beanies, coats and boots are worn by most.

South Africa...a country without filtered coffee. Back to instant I go.


South Africa...a country where honking a car horn means "Do you want a ride?" rather than "Get out of my way!"

South Africa...a country where in every bathroom, there's plenty of soap, paper towel, cold water and...condoms.

South Africa...a country where to enter a banking institution, one must go through a medal-detector doorway.

South Africa...a country where 'indoor' slippers are not only worn indoors.

South Africa...where there are posted MAX and MIN speeds on highways.
To be continued...

Cold Hands, Warm Heart

World Cup Fever is heating up, but boy oh boy, is it cold. Have you seen people on TV in the stands at the games all bundled up for winter? Well, they are not being wimps, it's definitely chilly around here. The night is especially cool as it frequently falls to 0 degrees. I didn't bring proper clothes for this weather! Whoops. Having to stock up on sweaters and buy some boots. Any excuse for more shoes...right?

I went to my first ever World Cup match last night! I saw USA vs. Slovenia at Ellis Park in Johannesburg. It was truly spectacular. I have seen quite a few amazing sporting events in my lifetime (Wimbledon, Stanley Cup playoffs, The Olympic Games, PGA Golf, etc.) but yesterday's experience tops the list. The intensity, the level of play, the noise, the large number of spectators, and the stadium itself will not soon be forgotten. I was surprised at how many American fans were in the crowd, and they were quite down on their team in the first half, cursing and yelling. BUT, the second half rally by their team was superb and made for an exciting finish. I am definitely becoming a huge soccer fan. 

Further, I'm observing some interesting day-to-day cultural phenomena here and wanted to capture it in writing. I am noticing these things especially when I walk the streets downtown during my lunch break. I have been venturing out much more, now that I have my bearings downtown. I recently found a pedestrianized street full of market-type goods and cheap shops, which I am loving. On Tuesday while cruising this street, I watched as people walked around with blankets on. Fleece blankets! Forget coats, people just put on blankets and go out. How clever! Why invest in a coat when you can just put on a blanket?

Also, there are many men with old-fashioned cameras asking if I need my photo taken at almost every street corner for a good 3 blocks up the road. I was puzzled by this until I saw that the Dept. of Home Affairs was nearby. Ahhhh, forget passport photo labs, you can just get your photo ID taken on the sidewalk. I watched this happen - these 'photographers' just tape a white sheet onto a building and then snap away.

There is also some very creative entrepreneurship going on in this city. The little tables that are set up everywhere sell quite a diverse range of products such as individual candies. Some people buy a whole bag of wrapped hard candies or mints and then sell each piece separately to make a small profit. You'll find these being sold often with a mixture of nuts and fruit.There are also lots of men walking up and down the middle of road lanes selling newspapers, flags, sunglasses and now, ear plugs. On the way to the stadium yesterday, we did indulge one of these sellers and each got a set of plugs for the game. They came in handy, let me tell you!

What is also striking is how everyone I encounter is very warm and genuinely friendly. I am either: 'madam', 'miss', 'dear', 'darling' or 'my love'. My name is often pronounced Biryani, like the Indian dish. It could be worse. I like Indian food. :)

Work again has been a bit slow this week due to World Cup mania, but hopefully the initial hype has died down and people can get back to business. I am entering my sixth week of being here...time if flying by!!! Lots to be done still in terms of my own learning objectives, but I won't panic yet!

Lots of love,

Brianna

The World Cup. And The World.

Hello all,

I think I totally underestimated the impact the World Cup would have on this country. And on me! I’m overwhelmed by the magnitude the event. It's everywhere I look! At work, the media, the streets, the shops, etc. I have seen visitors from all over the globe as well, right on my doorstep. This whole week has been a green and yellow blur. All I can hear is the vuvuzela amidst the backdrop of the city. (When helicopters and jets aren’t flying overhead or sirens are wailing….security is at an ALL TIME high.)

(FYI: Vuvuzela definition: A vuvuzela or a stadium horn is a blowing horn approximately 1 m (3 ft 3 in) in length. It is commonly blown by fans at football matches in South Africa. The instrument requires some lip and lung strength to blow.)

I’m actually relieved that the big event is now underway, as perhaps things can go back to normal...nothing was in order...from about Wednesday onwards. Everyone was in high spirits and not focused on their regular day-to-day routines. And who can blame them? The World Cup has never happened in Africa and people here LOVE their soccer. It's an important time in South African history and I'm so lucky to witness it.

Wednesday at noon there was a scheduled ‘Vuvuzela Moment’. Everyone in the whole of South Africa was instructed to blow their vuvuzela for 5 minutes at noon. Well, 5 minutes in Pretoria turned into 2 hours and a large parade. Pretorius Street, where my office is located, came to a stand still and people funneled through to Church Square which is in the centre of the city. Here is a picture from that very square at about 12:30 in the afternoon.



Nuts.
Thursday night I went to the Opening Celebration Concert in Johannesburg. It was at Orlando Stadium (the same place I saw the rugby a few weeks back). It was an absolute blast! Two of my favourite things…no wait three….were all significant factors of the night: Sport, Music and Charity. Not only were there amazing artists in attendance (Amadou & Mariam, Alicia Keys, John Legend, Shakira, etc.) but the vibe was amazingly cohesive and beautiful. The World Cup is truly bringing all sorts of people together in a historically divided nation. Some of my favourite parts of the night were:
-Random clumps of people breaking out into choreographed routines.
-Flags and patriotism, regardless of skin colour.
-A DJ in between sets played anti-apartheid songs and ALL audience members singing along. I was with some coloured people who grew up here during the last 20 years, and they cried with emotion.
-When the Black Eyed Peas busted into “Tonight’s gonna be a good night”…and I got my groove on.

Then my phone was stolen from my coat pocket in mass exodus from the stadium…I didn’t even notice until a bit later. Oh well. TIA. (This is also case and point as to why I bought the cheapest phone available when I got here.)

Friday I didn't go to work. Nor did anyone else. I sorted out a new phone and watched the opening game....South Africa against Mexico. The whole nation exploded when Bafana scored the first goal of the tournament. The storyline could not have been contrived any better than that!!

Today was host city Pretoria's first game and the stadium is just minutes away from my house. Here is a picture of just how close it is from the rooftop:



Other than the big WC, not much else to report. Like I said, one big blur. Although, I have begun to feel more grounded and like I belong at work, as many co-workers continue to stop in the hallway and poke their head into my office to say hi, welcoming me to the department and country. I am joyous when this occurs. The human spirit is wonderful and when we connect across borders, it makes me smile inside. We shall see what this week brings....will ANYONE be at work tomorrow??! :)

Hugs,
Brianna

PS-The 'space between' theme was in my face again this week...on a brown sugar packet no less. The quote written on the back of it was: "Don't be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so". ~Belva Davis